Lowest Traffic School

I have a friend that seldom obeys traffic laws. A few years ago she was stopped for running a stop sign. Local officer pulled her over and asked “Do you know why I stopped you ?” her response “NO” . “I stopped you for running that Stop Sign. Did you not see it ?” Her response, “I saw it, I just didn’t see you.”

Humorous no doubt, she still got a ticket.

For the first 40 years of my life, I never so much as had any traffic violation. Last year, in my very first hub “Bail Bondsman Breaks the Law” I recount a very memorable first traffic offense. In it there was speed, the high of the stop, a bad girl, a sexy cop and a whole lot of imagination. I was kind of hoping my second encounter on the wrong side of the law would at least match the first. I signed up for the lowest traffic school I found online and was entitled to pay a reduced ticket fee. Still, traffic school boredom shaved years off my life. One good reason to obey traffic laws.

Last week, on President’s Day I had visitors in town. They wanted to see some Keys Property for Sale and me being the hostess and tour guide that I am, I volunteered to drive them around. Normally, I’m a pretty good and safe driver, unlike my mother in law. I like to drive defensively no matter who has the right of way. I taught both my children when they were teens in the same fashion. Keep your distance (no tailgating), be aware of your surroundings, watch your speed, be on the lookout for road warriors, aggressive drivers, plian lunatics and always wear your seatbelt. By following this I have been able to avoid the law and traffic tickets rather skillfully too, up until now it seems.

I was minding my own business, blabbing away about which neighborhoods were the best in the area, dry lot versus canal front homes, short sales and foreclosures, giving my unofficial expert opinion. We had already viewed several homes and been in and out of the car a few times. I get back on the only highway in the Keys and out of nowhere this Florida Highway Patrol car creeps up to my side. One glance is all he needed to know I was not wearing my seatbelt. He switched lanes, turned on his red and blue lights and proceeded to pull me over.

Really, where the heck do these officers come out of lately ? $116 seatbelt violation ticket for not buckling up. My mistake totally, I was engrossed in the real estate deal like I was making a commission or something and totally slipped my mind to buckle up. For someone that’s managed only two traffic violations in a half a century you would think a warning would have been in order.

It stinks getting a ticket. Life is hard enough without feeling monitored at every turn you make with your car. Blinkers, seatbelts, stop signs, speeding are all such driving nuisances. In small towns like mine there’s no where to hide, no turns you can make that don‘t loop around to the same highway! Who made these rules? and why are officers such road Nazis? The fees you pay are random and excessive and you still have to worry about signing up and completing traffic school unless you want points on your license. Rack these points up and your insurance rates will soar. Lose, lose situation. I figure if I have to go to traffic school I might as well find one online and for the lowest price.

Problem now is do I pay the darn thing or subject myself to a lowly traffic school? I did it once to avoid points when I got the speeding ticket and it bored the living daylights out of me. Enduring the statistics alone is the equivalent of two doses of prescription ambien for me. Given the state of our economy I can’t afford to go to sleep for two days. Ticket-stickit. I suppose I’ll be more careful from now on.